Defending yourself is tough - so tough. But there is something so beautiful, so liberating, so empowering when you quit defending. It’s a moment when everything changes. Suddenly, you don’t have to pretend that everything is alright; that you’re perfect; that you did a good job; that you never made mistakes or that you never will again. And when that happens, you open up a whole new world of possibilities, and a lot less pain.
The fear is 'people will say …’
You’re right, they might. So what?
‘But they’ll think that …’
Yea maybe. So what? They might think that either way.
Can you control what they think? We all make mistakes and we all change our mind every once in a while - big deal. Why should you have to defend everything you ever did, said or made? You’d end up walking around in a state of never-ending vigilance, trying to show that you’re a perfect, real-life representation of your social media profiles.
In workshops, I try to make a point of telling people my mistakes so they don’t have to make them. Occasionally someone will point out the blatantly obvious ‘you shouldn’t have done that’. I acknowledge that they are correct (because they are), then we all learn from the mistake, move on, and the world keeps spinning on its axis.
Here’s a sample answer for anyone who finds themselves defending their work:
‘I did XYZ because I thought it was a good idea at the time, but it turns out that it wasn’t; I know that now after trying it. In any case, I’ll never make that mistake again.'
Enjoy your freedom...