Quit defending and experience freedom

Defending yourself is tough - so tough. But there is something so beautiful, so liberating, so empowering when you quit defending. It’s a moment when everything changes. Suddenly, you don’t have to pretend that everything is alright; that you’re perfect; that you did a good job; that you never made mistakes or that you never will again. And when that happens, you open up a whole new world of possibilities, and a lot less pain.

The fear is 'people will say …

You’re right, they might. So what?

But they’ll think that …

Yea maybe. So what? They might think that either way.

Can you control what they think? We all make mistakes and we all change our mind every once in a while - big deal. Why should you have to defend everything you ever did, said or made? You’d end up walking around in a state of never-ending vigilance, trying to show that you’re a perfect, real-life representation of your social media profiles. 

In workshops, I try to make a point of telling people my mistakes so they don’t have to make them. Occasionally someone will point out the blatantly obvious ‘you shouldn’t have done that’. I acknowledge that they are correct (because they are), then we all learn from the mistake, move on, and the world keeps spinning on its axis. 

Here’s a sample answer for anyone who finds themselves defending their work:

‘I did XYZ because I thought it was a good idea at the time, but it turns out that it wasn’t; I know that now after trying it. In any case, I’ll never make that mistake again.'

Enjoy your freedom...